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Communication, Relationships

How To Communicate So Your Child Will Listen

Written by Crystie Lim
Life Coach

We all love to share and inspire our children with our wisdom and knowledge. To effectively deliver our wisdom and have our messages successfully delivered to them, is the real challenge. No matter how old your child is, there are ways that can help you connect better with them. Part of an effective communication is when the message we are trying to deliver is taken seriously by our children. We want them to be able to relate and understand what we are trying to tell them. What would our wisdom mean, if our children are not consciously and attentively listening to us? This comes down to a secret. It is all about listening.

If we are consciously aware of the way we communicates with our children, we can increase our chances of being heard. One of the most common mistakes we make is prioritizing what we have to say over what they have to say. So, here’s the trick. If we want our children to listen to us, we have to listen to them first! Of course, we have more experience in life. And yes, we know better, in most cases. After all, we have had way more life experience than them. However, we need to understand this: good communication goes both ways. Before we pour our wisdom over them, we have to first listen to what they have to say. It sounds fairly simple. In many cases, you might even think, “Why does what they have to say matter?” The truth is, they do matter.

Understanding our children is so crucial in building a healthy and happy relationship with them. Listening attentively, with minimal to zero distraction, will help our children feel appreciated. When they are being heard, they will realize that what they share really does matter to us. One of the many things that parents often neglect is how much their children appreciate having their parents having interest in what they have to say. Listening not only lets you get closer to your child, but also shows them how much their thoughts are valued. Your child will appreciate your genuine concern for them. When you listen to your child, you will be able to understand where they are coming from, their real intentions, and their concerns. You will be able to enter their world, and they will tell you things that you might not usually know about them. Relating to them will no longer be a problem. Since you listen to them, they will listen to you. You can then use your wisdom and knowledge to help them grow. Connecting with your child will be so much easier once you hear them out first.

Listening may seem like a simple thing to do; however, listening attentively can actually be a challenge to many people. The pace of modern society has us stuck to the constant activities that we have to constantly attend to daily. Often, we might find it hard to concentrate and focus on one thing at a time. However, if our children are important to us, we should really focus our time on them. To be able to sit down and share moments of a good conversation with them are as important as making your child eat well or do well in school. You will be amazed when your child starts sharing things that they have never shared with you before.

True communication happens when you begin to learn to truly listen. For them to listen to us, we have to first listen to them. Remember, we are the role model for our children. What they will soon become tomorrow strongly reflects on what we are to them today. What they do is strongly influenced by what we did. If we practice a good listening attitude, our children will also learn to listen to us, and become the person we raise them to be.