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Communication

How to Feel Better When Someone is Rude to You

Written by Sarah Bonander
Writer, Human Resources Professional

Ever had that coworker that always seems to bear all of the problems of the whole universe? What about a rude driver? Or that person crossing the street that won’t even raise a hand to say “thank you” for letting them cross the street? Or that barista that does not have a smiling face and makes you want to buy coffee some place else?

It is not easy to be unaffected when someone shows us a bad attitude or does not treat us the way that we expect them to, but the truth is, we probably are not the reason why they are behaving rudely towards us. Do not take it personally.

Maybe the person is having a bad day.

Think of this: when you are having a really bad day and someone shows up and says “hi” to you it is hard to instantly shift from a bad mood to a good mood. It does not mean that you hate the person that just started talking to you. You are just dealing with personal annoyances.

Maybe the person has personal problems.

Sometimes you are the last thing on a person’s mind, but when you suddenly show up, or present another difficult situation, you end up being the other person’s target. They do this unintentionally though, so you will have to consider that other people carry a variety of problems that are difficult to deal with.

Maybe the person is not feeling well.

Pain or discomfort are not easy things to get a handle on. When someone is sick or not feeling well, most of the time they just want to be left alone to rest. Dealing with physical problems affects how someone treats another person.

Maybe the person has personal issues.

Maybe the person is rude to you because he or she is insecure, or maybe wants what you have but knows that they are not capable of having it, so instead they turn against you. Insecurity and jealousy are just some of the reasons why someone might treat you badly. It is not your issue; it is theirs, so let them deal with it- not you.

You just need to ignore it and go on with your day.

According to Albert Einstein, “Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.” That quote is so true. When something is ignored, it does not come back to you and affect you unless you allow it to. When you are able to do this, it shows that you have strength of character.

However other people behave towards you, do not think that it is you causing it. In this way you avoid conflicts and feelings of resentment. When you try to understand where the other person is coming from, you tend to be more forgiving and less critical of other people. You also are showing confidence in yourself because you do not think of yourself as someone causing trouble.

We all go through different situations in life and we do not know everything about what other people are going through. Even closest friends sometimes cannot tell how the other is feeling or how he or she would react to a certain situation. Therefore, let us all be kind and show someone who is having a difficult day that there are still nice things in the world to appreciate- like our kindness.

Remember, you cannot control other people’s reactions, but you can control your own, and if you show goodness towards another person, the more likely that person will be to realize that he or she should not be treating you badly after all.

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