Forgiving someone can be difficult–the toughest life challenge ever. It is like rewarding someone for something they did not do right or caused harm with. But in fact, forgiving them is not about them–it is about you. A key attribute to forgive is being strong enough to do it. How are you supposed to be strong and be able to forgive a wrongdoing? What about close friends and family that betray you?–How do you forgive them? How do you just forget something that brought you down? You are fueled by emotions of anger, hostility, fear, rage, resentment and bitterness.
The answers to these questions are unknown. Forgiveness is tough; it is tricky. Forgiveness is a topic of contention in, libraries, churches, workplaces, as well as dinner tables all around the world. Do not expect apologies, but try to forgive. Relationships can be severely sabotaged because of misunderstandings.
Start from Within
When people get engrossed in the dilemma of forgiveness, they need to start looking into their own emotions. If you are engrossed in past issues or worried about the future, your mind starts triggering sparks of negativity. You need to look into your own emotions carefully. It may work for the best to forgive and forget rather than be bottled up in remorse and regret. You would end up in an emotional haze – is it worth hanging on to things that have already passed and that cannot be changed? Is it worth worrying about-about what is yet to come – which you have no control over? Or would you rather focus on the present – which you do have control over? If you want peace of mind and a shine of positivity in your life, it is best to forgive and be the “bigger” person.
Recognize Your Need to Control
In many cases, we tend to disapprove how another has chosen to live. You just wish they could change. You may want them to apologize or reach out to you, so things go back the way you remember it, in a way you were comfortable with. That is what makes forgiving so difficult. Healing cannot work like that. Nobody can change on terms you create. They need to change their own terms. The loving thing is to let go by allowing the person to take his or her own life lessons.
The Need for Vengeance
What is the best way to handle vengeance? A sweet smile. Smile when you are hurting the most. If someone intends to really get to you, you will confuse that person. If you do surrender, you are giving into their enjoyment of you being bothered. It is best for you to go through your life journey without looking back at those who attempted to create trudges in the path. There is no better revenge. Forgive and keep moving on. Let go of people, and create a bright pathway towards your happiness.
Get ready to let go, forgive yourself first, and then forgive others. Live in the present because it’s worth it. There are many things to be thankful for. Open up to them. Loving is never easy, especially when times are rough, yet it is the most formidable and positively persistent action possible. Everyone needs to have a trait of forgiveness and understand that mistakes happen. Yes, of course not all mistakes are forgivable. There is a very fine line between mistakes, sins, and crime. But if you learn to forgive, you will peacefully move on with your life.[1]
Benefits of Forgiveness
- Set yourself free
- Move on with life and heal
- Remove malice and anger from your heart
- Claim authority over your mind and your heart
- Create peace of mind
- Forgiveness serves better than revenge
- Release from victim mentality
It is confirmed, forgiveness is therapeutic for the one who forgives, but it may just be good for the ones forgiven as well.[2]
Reference
| [1] | ^ | Oprah.com: How to Forgive Anyone—and Why Your Health Depends on It |
| [2] | ^ | Greater Good: Research on the Science of Forgiveness: An Annotated Bibliography |
