Have you ever been caught up in a group of people and while everyone else is blabbing away you don’t quite manage to line up a sentence or spark off a topic?
Some people are gifted in conversing and can just talk to anyone at any place, at any time. Some people struggle to even make come up with one line even though their minds are overflowing with millions of possible topics waiting in a queue. What separates these two types of people is communication skills. You need to master the art of communication skill in order to get conversations flowing. Conversation is like a ball game. When a question bounces your way, respond with a reply to continue the dialogue flow and never let the ball drop.
Communication is more than a mere exchange of information. It is about understanding intentions and emotions behind it. It is a two-way street. Not just about how a message is conveyed but, also how it is received by others in a way you intended.
To blend in with master conversationalists, practice the following steps each time you happen to come across some kind of communication challlenge:
Listen
You need to listen to gain full meaning and make others heard and understood.
Talking is not as important as listening. That is the irony. A good conversationalist listens well. In a TED Talk[1] in 2015, Celeste Headlee, the host of ” On second Thought” on Georgia public broadcasting stated that people rather talk than listen.
“When I’m talking, I’m in control. I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in. I’m the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity.”
We choose to talk more than listen because it is easy to get distracted when listening. On an average 225 words are spoken per minute, yet we can listen to approximately 500 words a minute. It takes effort to listen, but if you do not, you are not in a conversation.
Avoid Interjecting
A good conversationalist does not interject. If someone is reflecting on how they are having trouble at work, do not talk about your personal job experiences. If they are reflecting on losing a family member do not start talking about the time you lost someone close. Why? Because all experiences are individual experiences, and not about you, you do not need to attempt to boost with reflections of your painful memories.
Be transparent
If you do not know be open about it. A good speaker is not afraid to reveal that they do not understand you, according to Mark levy[2]
“Not only will the other person feel heard; they’ll likely love having to explain their point in a way that’s different than normal.”
Stay Informed
Keep up to date with the latest news; get in touch with topics like culture and business[3]
Good conversationalists can seed conversations and keep interest. Leave little details out like names and dates. The listener is interested in story, not facts.
Read the Cues
Emotionally intelligent people can read cues in communication challenges and they define their approach accordingly. Look for body language or mood changes that indicate the interest of the person in a conversation. This can help to improve or redirect the conversation accordingly. Awareness about the goals os parties and underlying motives of the conversation is revealed with body language.
Good conversationalists have:
Self-awareness: They understand their emotions.They take time out when they are overstressed
Self-Management : They manage emotions
Social Awareness: They empathize with other people’s emotions
Social Skills: They make face to face contact, they handle emotions around them, they listen even if they do not agree before they speak.
