Do you remember the early days of your relationship when you were star stuck at each other? Do you remember how you sat staring at each other dreamily, fantasizing about your future?
Do you recall how you talked about everything: your similarities, differences, goals, and visions? Remember how easy it was to ask each other probing questions? Can you recall how close and connected you felt to your beloved?
And yet, if you are like most couples, the honeymoon phase of your relationship waned and the curiosity was replaced by gripes about work, exchanges about chores and plans for the many responsibilities that you now both shoulder.
There is nothing inherently wrong with your relationship. However, lack of deeply engaging dialogue with your partner is slowly weakening your emotional intimacy: the very backbone of your relationship.
Dr. John Gottman says that successful couples are intimately familiar with each other’s worlds.[1] To keep the connection between you and your partner alive, you must always prioritize the discovery and cultivation of each other’s internal world.
If you want to increase the intimacy in your relationship, create some weekly time for quizzes. Quizzes help you to explore and understand your partner’s internal world in a fun way, consequently increasing your intimacy.
The following quizzes will help you to initiate deep conversations to help you support and strengthen emotional intimacy with your partner.
1. Quizzes on Books
The books we read say a lot about us: the genres we choose, the scenes that linger in our minds, the characters we admire… finding out your partner’s impressions on the books they have been reading is a great way of learning more about them.
- Is there any book that made the biggest impression on you as a teenager?
- What book has influenced your life the most?
- Which romantic literary couple do you think we are and why?
- What famous writer alive or dead would you want to write your story?
- What scene from a novel that you have read is still vivid in your mind?
- If you could bring one fictional character that you read about to life, who would it be and why?
- If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
- If you found yourself stranded on a deserted island, what four books would you take and why?
2. Quizzes on Technology
Technology has wholly permeated relationships. Research shows that you pick your smartphone 85 times a day and you are probably online 25 hours per week.[2]
Gadgets have become extensions of us. Technology, therefore, becomes an appropriate subject as you seek to know your partner even better and improve the connection of your relationship.
- What was your favorite game to play as a child?
- Which phone apps are you obsessed with?
- How do you feel about emojis? Which one do you love to use and why?
- What is your phone’s wallpaper and what does it signify?
- If you had to go for a week without a TV, your phone or computer, which one would you choose?
- What is the best Wi-Fi name you have seen?
- If life were a video game, what would some of the cheat codes be?
- What is your favorite viral YouTube video?
3. Quizzes on Fame
The famous serve as both an object of worship and disgust for us, simultaneously representing what we strive to be, and what we dislike about ourselves.[3]
Knowing how your partner feels about celebrity life helps you understand their principles and morals a little bit better.
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
- Who is the most famous person you have ever met?
- If you were a president for a day, what would you change about the country?
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want as a dinner guest?
- You have your own late night talk show. Who do you invite as your first guest?
- What was your childhood actor/actress crush?
- What celebrity would you rate as a perfect 10?
- Who in your opinion are some real heroes?
4. Quizzes on Your Relationship
Reflecting on your relationship helps you strengthen your connection.[4] Sometimes, it is easy to assume that you and your partner are on the same page while you are not.
Questions about your relationship provide you with a well-rounded view of your relationship and where it is going.
- What is the one thing I do that makes you feel loved the most?
- What does the perfect relationship look like to you? What is our relationship missing to be that perfect?
- Do you have trouble opening up and talking to me about anything?
- Is there anything I can do for you at this moment to help you feel more comfortable or loved?
- Is there any argument we have had recently that you feel incomplete about?
- Are there any areas of our relationship that you have felt especially challenging?
- What are the times you feel our souls connecting the most?
- What new traditions or rituals are you excited about creating in our family?
5. Quizzes on Your Past
There is nothing like the early days of a relationship. However, as responsibilities grow, you find that you slowly settle into duties and intimacy has taken the back burner.
Revisiting the early days of your relationship is a great way to reconnect with your partner all over again. You also discover new ways to effortlessly reconnect with your beloved whenever you feel that you need it.
- What do you remember thinking to yourself the first time you saw me?
- What qualities first attracted you to me?
- What is your favorite date we ever had?
- When did you know that you were in love with me?
- What are your happiest memories of our early days together? What made it so special for you?
- When did you first think that we could make it as a couple?
- What is your favorite sexual memory of us?
- How did you know that you wanted to be with me?
6. Quizzes on Secrets
This quiz helps you and your partner to not only know each other better but to gain a new appreciation of each other.
- What is the weirdest dream you have ever had?
- What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?
- Tell me what you consider the most difficult challenge in your life before meeting me? What are you grateful for about the challenge and what did you learn?
- What is a question about life that you wish you had the answer to?
- What are you dreading in life right now?
- What is the thing that you have struggled with the most your entire life? Who knows about it? Why do you think you struggle with it? What can I do to help you overcome it?
- If you had to be on life support, would you want to be kept alive?
- What do you consider your biggest failure? What did you learn from that experience?
7. Quizzes on Money
Money is t he most common cause of conflict in many relationships.[5] Taking quizzes about money will help you balance out your relationship financially and increase your emotional connection.
- How do feel about supporting family members financially?
- What if one or more of our parents needed to be taken care of, would you be okay if they lived with us?
- If money was not an issue, what would you really be doing with your life?
- Are you stressed about our finances? What is the biggest worry you have about our finances?
- How do you think we should prepare for financial emergencies?
- What do you think we can do to earn extra income?
- How much debt is acceptable or unacceptable to you?
- Are you ok with the way we are handling our finances? What do you think we should do differently?
8. Quizzes on Trust
We all know that trust is a fundamental component of every healthy relationship. The following questions will give your relationship a boost and leave you feeling much more secure.
- What scares you most about our relationship?
- How have I behaved that has made you feel unnoticed?
- Have I made you feel lonely?
- Have I done anything to make you feel unappreciated?
- What can I do to show you that I am there for you?
- Have you ever felt rejected by me? When did it happen?
- What have I done that has made you feel insecure?
- How can we make our relationship affair – proof?
9. Quizzes on Sex
One of the main distinguishing factors between the relationship with your partner and other relationships in your life is that you are having sex. And yet, sex ha s been ranked among the first three things that couples hardly discuss.[6]
A quiz about sex will help you and your partner establish your level of satisfaction with your sex life and to determine what you need to do to ensure you are both sexually fulfilled.
- What do I do that turns you on?
- What body part do you like best about me?
- What is the boldest sexual thing you have ever done?
- What is the weirdest thing you want to indulge in?
- What do you love about our sex life?
- Which part of your body would you like me to pay more attention to during sex?
- What is the one place you would like us to have sex, but we have not yet?
- How do you feel after we have sex? What would you like to do after sex?
The sense of trust that will come from your brave vulnerability could be one of the most powerful things to happen to you as a couple.
10. Five Things ……Go!
This is a simple, quick quiz that you can do anywhere, anytime. When your partner calls out a topic, you will both go through five things around the subject. For instance, you can cover:
- Five things that you love that your partner has done for you lately.
- Five things that you are grateful for in your life.
- Five things you want to do with your partner in the next month.
- Five things that inspire you about your partner
- Five things you love about your partner
The versatility and playfulness of this quiz make it a total winner. Be creative to make the exercise fun.
Final Thoughts
Quizzes are a great way to strengthen the connection in your relationship. Remember, even though you love each other, your relationship does not run on autopilot.
Your relationship will only thrive if you intentionally put effort into it. And yes, you can get by just fine without doing any of the suggested quizzes, but giving a few of them a try could take your relationship to the next level.
Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com
Reference
[1] | ^ | Dr. John Gottman: 99 Questions to Strengthen the Emotional Intimacy of Your Relationship. |
[2] | ^ | WellDoing: How Technology Affects Our Relationships |
[3] | ^ | HuffPost: The Dangerous American Obsession: Why Are We So Fascinated With Fame? |
[4] | ^ | An Honest Approach: 101 Conversation Starters for Couples |
[5] | ^ | Business Insider: 23 crucial questions you should ask your partner about money before you get married |
[6] | ^ | Jordan Gray: 10 Questions To Ask To Go Deep In Your Relationship |