You love your parents. And there’s nothing you’d change about how you were brought up … or at least, almost nothing. But let’s be real: being raised by nervous parents was almost a career in itself. And it has certainly equipped you for life in quite a, er, different manner than your peers.
From always knowing the best possible escape routes, through to being extremely aware of other people’s emotions, and knowing just how to calm a flustered adult, you’ve pretty much grown up to become a hybrid Sherlock Holmes/Dr. Sheldon Cooper/Oprah-esque superhero. And while this list is by no means exhaustive, it does cover some of the ways your nervous parents have ensured that you’ve developed a unique set of skills.
1. You appreciate the healing power of a good hug and are more than willing to say “I love you.”
… while your mother slides a shifty glance at your father and whispers: “Who knows if this will be our last special moment?”
2. You make sure that you never go to bed mad at someone.
There’s a part of you that just can’t take that risk.
3. You’ve never learned to cook because the sight of you approaching a kitchen knife sent your parents into hysterics.
Ditto with boiling water, ovens, and frying pans. In fact, the entire kitchen was pretty much a no-go zone.
4. You do know how to live off an emergency survival bag of canned beans, though.
You know, just in case.
5. You’ve learned to add an extra five-minutes to any schedule.
… so your nervous parents can check, and re-check that the house/car/oreos has been locked up.
6. Your least favorite phrase is: “Did you know that …”
This sentence never ends well. And most of the time you really didn’t want to know about the ten possible diseases you could catch by accidentally touching the escalator hand rest.
7. Your next least favorite phrase is: “Are you sure …”
Because this is usually followed by something like: “You have your scarf/parka/ski jacket?” Even though it’s summer, and, you know, ridiculously hot.
8. You were the only kid in school with two full-size luggage bags for a weekend camping trip.
That was being hosted at the school gym. You still find it extremely hard to pack light and envy people who can do carry-on only.
9. You never had a pet.
The reasons why are too endless to list in just one article, let alone one point.
10. Your parents constantly reinforced the need to lock your door as soon as you hopped into the car.
Because as your dad told you: “Somebody might steal you, possum.”
11. And let’s be real; you’re still worried about that today.
You’re 28.
12. You’re fully aware of the stop-drop-and-roll strategy and know where the fire exit is at all times.
You also know how to perform CPR and have a working first aid kit on your keychain.
13. You’re used to your parents calling you (or worse, your school/friends/colleagues/partner) at all times of the day just to “check in”.
It’s been an hour since they last spoke to you – anything could have happened!
14. You were always liked by parents (other people’s parents, that is).
Probably because watching you send out smoke signals every hour on the hour made them feel pretty darn good about their own parenting style.
15. You could be hired, in an instant, as a diplomat.
Calming people down and reaching mutually beneficial agreements is kind of your specialty. A just-in-case check-up with your GP in exchange for a whole weekend at your friend’s place? You’ve got yourself a deal.
16. You never got to choose which languages you learned.
So naturally, Italian and French didn’t make the nervous parenting education list. But you are fluent in Mandarin, Spanish, and Hindi.
17. You have to force yourself to keep your mouth shut when someone says, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Because the truth is that you can already think of 21 possible ways the current situation could lead to destruction, chaos, and the loss of a body part.
18. You never had a curfew.
Your nervous parents just stalked you and/or followed you around (being sure to stay a few cars/people behind you at all times).
19. You’re an awesome sleeper.
Probably because you’re used to waking up with your mother’s ear pressed to your chest while she shrieked, “Oh my god, Stan, I can’t hear her breathing!”
20. You know that your future can go either way.
You’ll either become the most relaxed, easy-going person ever, or you’ll have your books organised by genre, last name, relevance, and first letter of the last paragraph on page 15.
Featured photo credit: Womans hands connected With Tangled String via media.lifehack.org
