There is a common perception that your best friend can say anything to you, but this is not true. Your best friends would not use a close relationship with you as an opportunity to insult you. There are certain times when seemingly simple statements have stung and were derogatory enough to elicit a different expectation than expected. A true friend does not want to hurt you, even if unintentionally.
Here are 12 sentences best friends don’t say to each other.
1. “Are you sure you’re good enough?”
Your best friend should never doubt your capabilities. He/she should be supportive of every goal you pursue. Instead of doubting your abilities your best friend should say, “I bet you can pull it off.”
2. “You cannot be right”
By saying this your best friend is implying that you are untrustworthy and casting doubt over your intelligence. A more tactful sentence like, “my understanding is that…” would help offer a clearer picture of what you are saying and make sure you are working on the same assumptions.
3. “It can never…”
The word “never” puts a restriction on your life and doesn’t present us with an accurate reflection of the choices that still remain available to us. Your best friend should not close his/her mind to available options and should remove words like “never” from their vocabulary. Rather a phrase like, “I feel we can…” can prove more positive.
4. “I told you so”
This implies you are not paying attention or you are not listening to them. It could also imply that they are more prescient and wiser than you. Your best friend should understand that friendship with you is not a competition. There is no need to keep tabs on who is right or wrong. Rather they should say, “Let us fix this.” A good friend will show they are willing to help you out and not add salt to the wound.
5. “I don’t really care.”
Your friend may be emotionally charged but they should never tell you he/she doesn’t really care. Your best friend is meant to be concerned about your challenges and difficulties. Your best friend cannot say they don’t care, rather they should say, “I am here for you.”
6. “No you can’t borrow that”
Best friends share stuff. There are times you will need the other person to help you through a night or a day out – not being able to borrow something from a friend means the person is not a true friend in the first place.
7. “Why are you calling me at this hour?”
It will be better for you to suggest a sentence that shows you are willing to come over and talk, rather than question why you have been called at 4am. You are BFFs – you should be there for each other during any time of the day.
8. “I can’t stand who you are dating”
There are times it is better to be silent about your opinion, and then there are the times when your BFF is in a relationship with someone who he/she cares about. Although you don’t have to lie about your feelings, you have to be mindful of how you talk about with your negative feelings. Be concerned about your friend feels but never stand in the way.
9. “You can’t do it.”
You are never in the position to say this, because your statement means that no matter how much he/she tries they won’t be good enough. You may have good intentions and not want your friend to live under any illusions but you are simply not the judge of their life!
10. “I told you but you just won’t listen.”
Either you mean that your friend is deaf or you are much better than he/she. When things go wrong, you should show you are willing to help rather than criticize. Your friendship is not a competition and it is not about who is winning or losing.
11. “Your family drives me crazy.”
This sentence is a gut punch and it could hurt really badly. Your friend’s family is part of his/her identity. Sure, family can drive a wedge between you and your friend but you should learn to adjust and adapt.
12. “You are wrong.”
You are wrong simply means you are stupid, worthless and do not know anything. Whatever assumptions your BFF is making it is better for you be working from the same direction. A better sentence would be that, “I would have thought that…”, “My understanding is that…”
There are a lot of sentences that can hurt a friendship. It is better for you to be aware of what you say to your friends than to act on instinct. If it does spill out accidentally, make sure to quickly take it back.
