If you have ever wondered why some people are so popular, try observing how they behave. They know instinctively that the power of networking is what really counts in the workplace. They also realize that being highly likable is the key to friendship and successful relationships.
But is it really worthwhile being so popular? You bet it is! According to a Columbia University study, these people get promoted more quickly, receive better medical treatment, and are perceived as being more trustworthy. They are streets ahead of everyone else, so it is certainly worth checking what they do differently.
Highly likable people naturally use some or all of these 13 techniques which make them stand out from the crowd.
1. They use names as identity tags.
I was fascinated once to see how Prince Charles used people’s names effectively when he came to a reception at my workplace many years ago. Obviously, he has vast experience after countless events. When he was leaving, he passed down the line of guests and said to me “Goodbye Robert.” It was easy, of course, as my name badge was clearly displayed. Look at the photo below. That’s me, the second from the left.
That set me thinking about how important it is to use people’s names in establishing and maintaining social contact. When people hear their name used in questions or comments in the conversation, they feel more appreciated. It is a signal that their identity is recognized.
2. They are active listeners.
There is nothing worse than someone droning on about themselves, their problems, achievements or their family. These people are completely unaware of the value of being active listeners. They simply do not know that instead of going on about their problems, they need to listen more, talk less and ask a few questions. This is exactly what highly likable people do.
3. They use touch discreetly.
When I first came to Italy, I was very much struck by the fact that the people used touch, hugs and kisses with complete naturalness. It was an eye opener for me, coming from a rather uptight family where touching was rarely part of our emotional development.
But research studies show that the power of non sexual touch is far reaching and can help with requests for compliance, help and acceptance. Highly likable people use it discreetly and effectively.
4. They are almost always positive.
“The more you stir it, the more it stinks.”
—Roger Larson
Have you ever wondered how these likable people are always upbeat and optimistic? Here are some of the tricks they use:
- They tend to concentrate on their achievements rather than their failures.
- They rarely blame themselves when something goes wrong. They know their worth!
- They know that negative thoughts prevent them from enjoying the present.
- They realize that one negative thought is like a ball speeding down the hill, getting larger and larger before it reaches the bottom.
- They practice gratitude often for the great things in their lives.
5. They are patient.
They know instinctively that in the long term, they are going to reach their goals. Taking one step at a time is one method they use. They are also aware of what triggers will make them impatient, and they are able to restrain those moments when bad temper, sulkiness, anger, and frustration threaten to send ripples through the waters.
6. They are empathetic.
They can relate to people’s problems and are interested enough to try to understand their feelings and also help in any way they can. They are tolerant of people’s weaknesses and do not expect perfection. A great quality for the perfect boss!
7. They are genuine.
There is nothing fake about a highly likable person. Sincerity shines through and you can sense immediately whether that smile is real especially when they praise you. Look at the eyes and see how the joy lines are also working. They follow up on promises and are highly reliable, which makes it a joy to work with them.
8. They are open minded.
Far too many people think they have it all worked out and that their views on politics, life and work are right. Now, likable people are totally different in that they are open to new ideas, different ways of solving a problem and also have a curious mindset where they actively seek out new approaches and experiences.
9. They are able to learn from failure.
“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
—Bill Gates
Popular people know that failure is part and parcel of life. What really makes them stand out is that they are capable of learning a lesson when things go wrong and can move on with confidence. They never play the blame game.
10. They are happy and calm.
We all seek happiness. These appealing people are usually fulfilled in their work and relationships, and this attracts other people like a magnet. It is as if they have a secret aura, and this is worth its weight in gold.
11. They speak clearly.
These highly regarded people are skilled communicators. Whether this has come about as a natural gift or as a learned skill, I am not sure. What shines through is the way they speak and how friendly the tone is. They never mumble, shout, rant, mutter or use foul language.
12. They are non judgmental.
You will never hear these likable people slandering or using gossip to judge colleagues and friends. They will never:
- Interrupt
- Make people look inferior
- Complain or blame other people
- Show off or boast
Non judgmental people are always constructive and never destructive.
13. They make great team member or leaders.
Highly likable people make great team players because their open and positive attitude makes working with them a pleasure. Team leaders and bosses often crave popularity, but sometimes fail miserably because they possess very few of the people skills I have listed above.
Now, where do you stand on the highly likable scale? Have you given this any thought and have you ever wondered how you could improve? Let us know in the comments below.
Featured photo credit: Girl outdoors smiling/Greyerbaby via pixabay.com
