The digital age has changed everything. We are creatures glued to our computers and smartphones and a lot of our habits and priorities have changed. Let’s take a look at some of these digital age changes.
1. You eat food we don’t like because #foodporn
You know you’ve been wanting to go to that place that sells the absurdly expensive, unique, and exotic food because you want to try to be the next big thing when posting under #foodporn on Instagram. The food may suck and you may not eat it but your iPhone is going to take a glorious picture of it.
2. #hashtag #everything
Everything has to have a hashtag now because you want people searching hashtags to know what you’re saying. It’s never been more important than now to use hashtags and you use them religiously.
3. One sec, I have to update my status
What was once a thing people only did occasionally when they felt like it, updating your status has become an essential part of your every day life. People must know what you’re doing at all times!
4. Problems are now photo ops
Did you see that kid face plant the pavement? He might be hurt, bleeding, and in need of medical assistance but it’s become important to document the footage in case a news station needs it or in case it blows up on social media. Why call 911 when you can #fail and make people laugh? It won’t be long until couples are taking Vines of their breakup arguments and showing the whole world how it really went down.
5. Your are a different person online
Your online persona has become as important or more important than your real life persona. You nurture your online persona like it’s your child. You feed it, love it, care for it, and protect it from bullies. Your online persona has bold opinions and constant revelations. People seem to like the online you and it becomes a bigger part of your life than your actual life.
6. Showing is more important than doing
It doesn’t really matter what you do anymore as long as people see that you’re doing it. Would you really go sky diving if you didn’t intend on getting that epic selfie falling out of the sky? You may go to an event and spend the whole time taking pictures rather than actually enjoying yourself. As long as people know you were there and you did that thing, it doesn’t really matter if you did it or really enjoyed doing it.
7. An anonymous stranger said something mean. Die!
You’ve gotten to a point where a stranger trash talking you in the comment section of an article or video makes you more angry than things in real life do that should actually make you angry. You may wreck your car and be upset but nothing makes you type in all caps and say quite as many swear words as someone online who just doesn’t get it.
8. You don’t log out of anything. Ever
Logging off means you can’t check your notifications, post updates, upload photos, or see what other people are saying and that just bugs you. You have to see what everyone is saying at all times and that means everything stays logged in even if it’s killing your smartphone battery.
9. You must know all things!
Someone posts a song lyric and you have to Google it to see what song it is. There’s a new meme and you need to see it. You troll (the fishing term, not the internet term) the web looking for the latest fads to be a part of. You did a Harlem Shake video and watched Gangnam Style on the same day. For shame.
10. Going viral is your news now
You know that video that went viral? You saw it because, well, look at number 9. When something goes viral, you see it and the news reports on it. That’s what everyone is looking at and that means that’s what you see. Never mind who won that baseball game or what the president did. If it was important, an image, video, or something will go viral and you’ll hear about it if it’s really important.
11. You carry a charger at all times
You must have a way to charge your phone. You have a car charger, a wall charger at home, and probably one in your purse or backpack too. Just in case you need to plug in real quick and do a bump charge at a random outlet at a random place. Never mind your smartphone, tablet, or laptop, you feel naked without your charger.
12. You need to know the lingo
There are new acronyms coming out every day and you need to know all of them. There’s your ttyl, gtg, brb, ily, lol, lmao, rofl, smh, mrw, mfw, gtfo, stfu, and all the other ones. People use them and you know them. It is your most important vocabulary lesson.
13. You must be the mayor on Foursquare
How dare that random, anonymous internet person check in at that place more times than you! You are so into location-based social media that you will either go out of your way to frequent a spot or you will go to places you don’t like just so you can check in and say you were there.
14. You care more about how you look in a video chat than in real life
You may be sitting around every day with unkempt hair and unwashed shirts. Rest assured when it’s time to use Skype or Hangouts you’re in the bathroom brushing your teeth, doing your hair, putting on make up (where applicable), and putting on fresh cloths. You need to look nice in your video chats in case people take pictures!
15. You own a cat
You may be allergic to cats. I know I am and I own a freaking cat for some reason. Your friends think cats are cool and cute and that means you think cats are cool and cute. Sure dogs are on the upswing but who has time to play fetch with Fido? Cats don’t do squat and don’t need you do anything other than clean the litter box.
16. Your kill-death ratio is your status symbol
Yeah this one applies mostly to gamers but even girls game these days. You know how to play those games, you know how to win those games, and you know everyone else does too. You’ve learned how to coax the game into doing what you need it to do and your 3:1 KDR is your proof!
17. What the hell is sleep?
Who has time to sleep anymore? You have updates to post, things to read, songs to listen to, and all the famous people you follow in Europe are just about to wake up! You don’t want to miss anything and that means you either go to bed later than you should be or you keep crashing on your couch. In either case, sleep has been replaced by everything else.
18. Your Netflix list is more important than your grocery list
You need to have a line up of popular, awesome shows lined up on your Netflix for when guests come over. Those B-rate movies you watch in the middle of the night alone? They’re not there. You have a curated collection of classics that anyone would love. It’s your pride and joy like people used to do with their DVD collection.
19. You must leave product reviews on everything you buy online
You had an experience shopping online. It may have been good or bad but in either case you have to tell people about it. You may not be good at it but you do it anyway and you feel good that it’s out there for people to read. You may have made a difference somewhere.
20. People need to pay more attention to you
Your updates, your uploads, your hashtags, your lack of sleep, your cat, and that phone charger you carry on your person. It’s all for one purpose. So you can be online and so that people know that you’re online. That’s the most important thing of anything on this list. You need to be online and you need people to know that you’re there.
This would be the point where we point out that the things that people deem important is absurd. However, I can’t actually say that because I am the exact same way. Possibly even more so since I’m a blogger. Sometimes it’s just interesting to see the way things have changed and where our priorities are now.
