Sometimes the most charismatic people are the ones who finish first. Added to our skills should be how we make the other person feel when he/she engages us. Yes, great conversations stick to our heart for a long time. People who make great conversations are interesting to be with. It is a law of attraction to want to be around those who listen with their heart and also speak to our hearts. This is why people will always appreciate people like Stephen Fry and Charlie Rose. Here are some elements that make some conversations with some people more memorable than others.
1. They offer genuine compliments.
The human is wired not to refuse reciprocity. Great conversationalists offer thoughtful and genuine compliments during a conversation, which makes the other person feel validated and appreciated. This stirs the conversation and propels it in a positive direction. Make sure your compliment is sincere and these compliments could be directed at what they are wearing, doing, or saying.
2. They maintain steady eye contact.
In many cultures, maintaining eye contact with who you are speaking with adds sincerity and appropriateness to a conversation. It means you are serious and engaged during the conversation. Great conversationalist know why and how to make eye contact—they do this between 70–80% of the time and add value to the conversation with this non-verbal act.
3. They contribute to the conversation.
It is better to also be a giver during a conversation rather than just a taker. Add interesting facts or elaborate on a statement. People who make great conversations observe their environment and pick up interesting stuff from it which could be infused into a conversation. It is like they are building something together with the other person. Great conversationalists contribute to the conversation and thus make the other person relaxed and comfortable.
4. They listen and are attentive.
“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”
—Ernest Hemingway
By listening and paying attention, you show you respect the other person. When the other person is listened to, he or she will feel important during the conversation. According to Michael Hyatt, great conversationalists listen with their hearts, and this doesn’t require any verbal action, but rather, good body language and attentive ears.
5. They remember the names of those they are speaking with.
People tend to like and appreciate you more if you use their name a few times during conversations. According to research, people respond better to their names as it validates their identity. Remembering names means you are a detailed person and this makes great conversationalist stand out.
6. They keep the conversation informative.
“Never leave home without reading the newspaper.”
—Leil Lowndes, author of How To To Talk To Anyone
The brain has a very short attention span so it is safer to be informed and provide an interesting conversation. This is why it is important to be abreast about current trends. They don’t have to start talking about a complex topic. It could be what happened on the last episode of Game of Thrones. As far as you bring an intelligent and informed angle to it, you will make a great conversation with it.
7. They are enthusiastic about what the other person has to say.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”
—Dale Carnegie
“When you’re interested, you’re interesting,” says Jill Spiegel, author of How to Talk to Anyone About Anything! Be open to what the other person has to say and ask intelligent questions moderately which would show that you are willing to know more about the other person.
Featured photo credit: Stephen Fry in V for Vendetta via mystery756.files.wordpress.com
