Life can get busy. Sometimes we've got to go for that heart-affirming run, that exciting date with the new guy at the local, or do that all-important paperwork (the utility bill, the NHS forms, those pesky tax rebates). It all adds up and most of the time, it turns out that 24 hours is just not enough for one day's work (or play...). So what do we sacrifice? The food? God no, quality time with a cheesy pasta bake is essential for sanity. Social time? Nope, because no person is an island. Sleep? Well it's already midnight and we have to get up at 6am so yep, sleep it is. And then this happens...
1. Your texts look like pocket dials because you can’t spell anymore.
2. Jokes fall flat at your feet because you just can’t get the punch line.
3. You're all fingers and thumbs and you drop your pen not just once, not just twice but 3 times in a row.
4. You burn your toast in the morning. Toast. You burn TOAST, for goodness sakes. This must end.
5. You call everyone by the wrong names. Jim, I mean Sam, I mean Josh - until the 'oi you's come out.
6. You snap at the post man, barge past the tourists on the sidewalk, yell at the receptionist who can't help you. At least you held back at your manager's meeting...
7. You forget your cufflinks, your earrings, your pants. If you’re lucky, it's dress down Friday.
8. You miss your train because you’ve forgotten how to read time, and what time your train arrives, and what time it even is.
9. You binge eat and overdose on caffeine because you think you can replace hours of sleep with sugary crap and five consecutive coffees. You are wrong.
10. You wear odd shoes to work and sit down at your desk all day to avoid the embarrassment of admitting that you can't dress yourself properly.
11. You yawn at your customers, at the cute guy who struck up a conversation on the bus, at your wife as she updates you on her day (which has been interesting, you massive jerk).
12. You leave your phone in toilet cubicles and on tables and spend the day on treasure hunts following the sound of your ringtone.
13. You miss out on opportunities that you just can't be arsed to take.
14. You watch 3 seasons of a rubbish sitcom on Netflix just because it's there, and so is the remote.
15. You make terrible decisions, agree to dates you shouldn’t, organise two events on one Saturday and make a general mess of your week.
16. You spend money on lunches you can’t be bothered to make at home, coffees you’re too lazy to brew and taxis that are way less hassle than buses.
17. You fall asleep on trains and wake up in strange villages in Kent that you've never heard of.
18. You get emotional at strange moments and cry in toilets when your friend doesn’t want to share pasta bake for dinner. Who doesn’t like pasta bake any night of the week?! Oh the humanity.
19. You have to write everything down because otherwise you'll forget. The post it notes on your desk have wiped out a whole forest.
20. You have a constant cold which sometimes verges on a migraine because your body is making this decision for you - GO TO SLEEP OR I WILL SELF-DESTRUCT. And then you definitely won't be able to sleep, right?
In short, you’re just not on top form and you’re not yourself when your fuel gauge is hitting empty, when your pants are on your head and your jumper's inside out. Your nose is running and you're throwing temper tantrums. It's just not a good look.
1. Your texts look like pocket dials because you can’t spell anymore.
2. Jokes fall flat at your feet because you just can’t get the punch line.
3. You're all fingers and thumbs and you drop your pen not just once, not just twice but 3 times in a row.
4. You burn your toast in the morning. Toast. You burn TOAST, for goodness sakes. This must end.
5. You call everyone by the wrong names. Jim, I mean Sam, I mean Josh - until the 'oi you's come out.
6. You snap at the post man, barge past the tourists on the sidewalk, yell at the receptionist who can't help you. At least you held back at your manager's meeting...
7. You forget your cufflinks, your earrings, your pants. If you’re lucky, it's dress down Friday.
8. You miss your train because you’ve forgotten how to read time, and what time your train arrives, and what time it even is.
9. You binge eat and overdose on caffeine because you think you can replace hours of sleep with sugary crap and five consecutive coffees. You are wrong.
10. You wear odd shoes to work and sit down at your desk all day to avoid the embarrassment of admitting that you can't dress yourself properly.
11. You yawn at your customers, at the cute guy who struck up a conversation on the bus, at your wife as she updates you on her day (which has been interesting, you massive jerk).
12. You leave your phone in toilet cubicles and on tables and spend the day on treasure hunts following the sound of your ringtone.
13. You miss out on opportunities that you just can't be arsed to take.
14. You watch 3 seasons of a rubbish sitcom on Netflix just because it's there, and so is the remote.
15. You make terrible decisions, agree to dates you shouldn’t, organise two events on one Saturday and make a general mess of your week.
16. You spend money on lunches you can’t be bothered to make at home, coffees you’re too lazy to brew and taxis that are way less hassle than buses.
17. You fall asleep on trains and wake up in strange villages in Kent that you've never heard of.
18. You get emotional at strange moments and cry in toilets when your friend doesn’t want to share pasta bake for dinner. Who doesn’t like pasta bake any night of the week?! Oh the humanity.
19. You have to write everything down because otherwise you'll forget. The post it notes on your desk have wiped out a whole forest.
20. You have a constant cold which sometimes verges on a migraine because your body is making this decision for you - GO TO SLEEP OR I WILL SELF-DESTRUCT. And then you definitely won't be able to sleep, right?
In short, you’re just not on top form and you’re not yourself when your fuel gauge is hitting empty, when your pants are on your head and your jumper's inside out. Your nose is running and you're throwing temper tantrums. It's just not a good look.
