Everyone knows that life’s made up of a series of infinite choices. Some are minor and insignificant, like deciding what to wear or eat. But it’s the major decisions—the ones that can impact your life forever—that are difficult to make.
For instance, choosing a partner. The science behind choosing wisely is surprising. Partner or problems? Decisions. Decisions. Before you decide, know that you’ll get both.
Problems arise in life, relationships or otherwise. How we handle them is what’s important.
Many of us tend to choose a partner based on similarities. It’s believed that if we share common interests, problems won’t be much of an issue. This isn’t so. Every couple experiences problems. Having something in common is good. What’s better is sharing a common emotional bond. Don’t focus on commonalities to reduce the possibility of conflicts with someone. Instead, choose a partner who deals with problems like you would. Learn how your potential life partner addresses problems. How do they feel about expressing anger? Do they hold it in until it subsides? Do they share happiness but suppress anger? These are only a few questions to consider.
Research says,
It’s like aging. You can’t avoid it. So smart people don’t ask, “How can I live forever?” They ask, “What’s the best way to handle it?” There is no partner with whom we’re not going to fight and get annoyed and complain about. The question is how you deal with those problems.[1]
Life holds no guarantees. There’s no real way to be sure about anyone. What we can be sure of, is that knowledge is powerful. Knowing more about a person’s emotions and how they cope with conflict matters far more than similarities.
Remember, you can’t have a partner without having problems. But you can have a better idea of how to make the right choice.
