Most of us feel like we know our loved ones pretty well, but do we really? It’s easy to fall into a routine when we communicate with others, exchanging pleasantries and avoiding deep, meaningful topics. Making the effort to go deeper during conversation can lead to more authentic relationships and stronger connections.
I’ve picked the best of 38 questions that truly reveal people’s personalities,[1] and compiled them into four sections. Next time you’re with a loved one, forget talking about the weather. Ask these thought-provoking questions instead.
Beliefs
Find out what your loved one really believes by asking them questions that require them to make a difficult choice. You’ll learn a lot about their priorities and how they view the world.
1. Would you rather have more than 5 friends or fewer than 5 friends?
2. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
3. Would you rather have $50,000 free and clear or $1,000,000 that is illegal?
Dreams
We all have dreams, but expressing them to others can feel difficult and embarrassing. Help your loved ones to open up by asking questions about what they’d like to achieve, or how they wish life could be different.
1. What do you want to be remembered for?
2. What stands between you and happiness?
3. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Fears
Fears are part of what makes us who we are, and learning what your loved one is afraid of can deepen your connection. Rather than asking what they’re afraid of outright, ask questions about which they’d prefer out of two unpleasant scenarios. The answers might surprise you.
1. Would you rather spend 48 straight hours in a public restroom or spend the next 2 months taking only public transportation?
2. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
3. Would you rather discover something great and share it? Or discover something evil and prevent it?
Thoughts
Conversation is more fun when you ask thought-provoking questions. Listen to what your loved one has to say, then share your own opinion to encourage debate.
1. If you had to choose to live without one of your 5 senses, which one would you give up?
2. What song typifies the last 24 hours of your life?
3. What did you learn in school that has proven to be the least useful?
Get to know your friends and family on a new level by asking deep, thought-provoking questions.
Featured photo credit: Toa Heftiba via Unsplash via unsplash.com
