“You’re fat.”
“You’re ugly.”
“Is that the best you can do?”
“You suck.”
The echoes of what someone else has said about you keeps repeating over and over in your head. You can’t seem to shut it out.
The worst part is, it has made you upset or extremely angered by that person who said those mean things about you. That’s all you feel and think about all day. Your day is ruined.
Has this ever happened to you?
We’re bound to meet people who hurt us
During our lifetime, we meet all sorts of people. But not all of them end up being our friends. We all have different values and principles, so when we meet someone who differs in terms of viewing life, there’s bound to be conflict. And some are all too ready to express their disagreement, however nasty they want it to be.
You may be caring too much about what others think.
This is the underlying issue which a lot of us suffer from. We constantly care about what others think and how they see us. A lot of us do not like to be judged and we worry about the image we’re portraying to others. It may sound like a legitimate thing to do, as we do live in a society where we’ve to play by the rules, otherwise we may be shunned upon.
However, how much is too much? Why care about what others think to the point that it ruins our day and even holds us back to the things we truly want to do?
That is why the words which come out from others’ mouths hurt us. We let them hurt us. And there’s no point in that when it comes to our emotional well-being.
How to not let others’ words hurt you
These are the steps I take to making sure I don’t get hurt by others and what they say. It may not be the perfect solution, but the way I see it, they are the basic tips which, when applied, can actually surprise you with the results you want.
Replace it with a positive thought
When someone insults you or say something which you completely disagree with, it keeps repeating in our heads over and over. The reason it keeps going through in our heads is that, more than not, we are taught to deal head on with it. We are told to rationalize it, reason with it and even analyze it…which ends up being an ironic cycle as you passively deal with the thought, which is harming you in the first place.
Simply realize that these are just mere thoughts going through your head. Replace the thought with a more positive one. It could be a good memory, an optimistic view of the future or some cool scenario you’d really like to live. Maybe you’d call that wishful thinking, but if they’re just mere thoughts, why use negative ones and let them ruin your day?
Don’t let the hurtful words of others take control of your mind. Your mind is your mind, so control your thoughts and cheer yourself up.
Retort their words
A lot of times people’s words hurt us because we did not do a thing about it. We didn’t retort and make a stand for ourselves.
You may think, “Oh I just didn’t want to cause trouble,” or “It just wasn’t worth it”. But you may not realize that you’re simply repressing yourself. And when you’re repressed, you feel a void. That’s where the hurt comes from.
To not let others hurt you, you ought to stand up for yourself and make a retort when you disagree with what they say. This allows for expression, which pretty much helps to clear up the negativity inside you. Trust me — it will make you feel a lot better when you express yourself. You will at least know that you did your best and everything you could against things you disagree with.
Avoidance
The last tip is to simply avoid people who’re there to hurt you.
The problem here is that people always have an excuse to why they hang out with people they don’t like. Some people hang out with people they dislike because of their job or they don’t want to come across as petty. The way I see it, you ought to take responsibility for your own life. You may have your own commitments, but it doesn’t mean you can’t make the effort to surround yourself with positive people, which is something people forget.
So forget about commitments or living up to expectations for a second. Change your surroundings instead and get positive people along. It will make a difference and people aren’t going to be saying hurtful things to you.
Getting hurt by others’ words is a very common issue all of us face in life. Unless you’re extremely positive in life and totally focused, it’s hard to not let others bother you. Hopefully these tips will make a big difference. Give them a try and let me know in the comments what you’ve done (or are doing) to not let words hurt you.
(Photo credit: Abusive Words Hurt via Shutterstock)
