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Communication, Relationships

Realizing the Differences Between Love And True Love

Written by Tomi Rues
Adjunct college teacher, notebook/journal designer, author

Sometimes true love finds you when you least expect it; other times, you look everywhere for it, and it cannot be found. Whether it be now or in the future, you will find yourself in a romantic relationship. When you are in this relationship, you may question if it is love, infatuation, lust, or true love. How are you supposed to know the difference? Here are five ways to distinguish love from true love.

1. With True Love, You Don’t Ask Others For Their Approval. With Love, You Do.

You don’t need to ask those close to you what they think of your love interest or your relationship. You don’t need reassurance because you already know. When you are infatuated or falling in love with a person you may question how they really feel, or even, how you really feel. You might feel the need to discuss all your fears and thoughts with others to get their input on your relationship. When you find true love, you won’t have those questions or need that reassurance. You will feel comfortable in how you feel and you won’t feel the need to analyze it.

2. With True Love, You Truly Like Each Other. With Love, You Might Like Them In A More Superficial Way

When you are in love or in lust, the pure physical attraction can be so amazing that you don’t really stop and think if you actually like the person. True love is lasting and it is really important to like the person in and out of the bedroom. Physical attraction is important, but at the end of the day you want to like the person you are sharing your life with. And, of course, you want to know they like you as well.

3. With True Love, You Trust Each Other. With Love, There Can Be Doubts.

When you find true love, you also find trust. You don’t worry your partner will be disloyal, and you know you won’t as well. You know you have each other’s back. You trust you will be there for each other. Just as you know a best friend or close family member wouldn’t lie to you or treat you badly, you know your true love wouldn’t do that either. You also know you wouldn’t lie, cheat, or mistreat your true love. There is mutual trust, affection, and honesty.

4. With True Love, Life Becomes Richer. With Love, It Can Become Harder.

True love enriches your life. Your life should become easier, not harder. Relationships built on lust and infatuation can be thrilling, exciting, and time consuming at the same time. The constant push and pull of this kind of love can make life rockier. There is a steadiness, comfort, and assurance that comes from finding your true love. Your life is fuller, more wonderful with this person in it.

5. With True Love, You Picture a Future Together. With Love, You’re Not Quite Sure.

Sometimes it is easy to picture a life together based on your unrealistic expectations or your idealistic way of viewing things. If you try hard enough, you can kind of see how you might have a future together. Or, you might be in love or infatuated with someone and thinking of a future together scares you. When you find true love, it feels natural to picture a future together. You can’t imagine not being together. You know this is the person you want by your side as you go through life.

When you find true love, it feels right. There is a certainty that resides in you. You don’t feel the need to talk about your relationship with others to get their feedback. You truly enjoy each other’s company. You honestly like the other person, and they like you. There is mutual trust. Your life becomes better, not harder. It’s not hard to picture a future together. You can’t imagine a life without this person in it. You realize that true love doesn’t take time, but it stands the test of time.

Featured photo credit: True Love(r)/Alex Cheek via flickr.com