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Communication, Relationships

Why Some Couples Fall Out Of Love

Written by Jeanne Floresca

Finding the love of your life is no small feat. Discovering a person who has similar beliefs, compatible qualities, and enough intrigue about them to keep the union interesting can be likened to winning powerball. It’s a long shot.

When you do find your person, it’s nothing short of fantastic. You guys like the same things, you finish each other’s sentences, and neither of you can imagine life without the other. These are good times indeed, but as any couple who has been together for a number of years, it’s inevitable that these blissful moments fade. But, it doesn’t have to fade to black.

Here are eight reasons why couples fall out of love, and thoughtful ways to avoid the predicament!

1. Couples forget what they love about the other person, so remind yourself!

Take a few minutes each day, or when you remember, to think on what you admire about your mate. Remember how those favorable qualities make you feel. Perhaps his kindness to others makes you proud to be with him, or her generosity makes you feel special.

Choose to dwell on their good traits and discover how your view of them becomes more pleasant. When you see your lover as a good, kind, and generous person the more you believe you struck the relationship lottery. (No one wants to give-up a winning ticket!)

2. They don’t remember the good times, so keep it in plain sight!

Have pictures of when you first met around your home to remind you of the history you share. Store pictures of your partner, including your family, on your phone to prompt you to be thankful for your blessings. Also, if it’s not too far-fetched for you to believe and think of these pictures as possessing the “happy” energy of those times when they were taken, and to let it continue to positively affect your mood today.

3. Some take their partners for granted, so be thoughtful.

Do unexpected and kind things for your loved one. No matter how long you’ve been with a person, it is still the little things that blows them away. Show up with soup when she’s sick. Give him a back rub without being asked and watch their eyes light up. These small gestures of kindness convey how much they are cherished.

4. Couples forget the importance of romance, so instead put it in focus!

You may see each other daily, but that is not the same as seeing your lover in a romantic setting. The setting doesn’t need to be elaborate, but a few things need to be present for it to count as romantic.

Lest you forget, this is not a post on how to stay friends – it’s about how to avoid falling out of love! (The grass ain’t gonna water itself!)

First, the energy you send out during these specific times has to be one of romance. You have to have the ‘I want you’ and ‘I desire you’ vibes flowing. Next, there has to be touching. Whether it’s holding hands, kissing, or more. Lastly, there has to be reciprocal acts of adoration and appreciation. If you want to stay in love, you got to act in-love.

5. People get caught up in the chaos of life, so find a way to laugh together.

Couples who laugh together are having a better time. (It’s not rocket science.)

When the person you’re with is who you share more happy and funny times with – that isn’t easily forgettable or replaceable. Tough times affect all couples, but when a couple can find a way to laugh at the craziness of life, you have something special – it’s called resilience.

6. Couples fail to remember they’re on a team, so show unity.

One thing we hope for when committing to a relationship is the feeling that we don’t have to face life’s challenges alone anymore. The proverb of ‘”shared sorrow is half the sorrow and shared joy is twice the joy’” is the promise we expect fulfilled when pledging ourselves to another human being.

As we exchange our love, we in effect are saying, “I got you.” So keep your love strong by showing your partner how they are not alone. Be steadfast. Never stop demonstrating how you will be there to care, support, and protect each other.

7. Some always want to be right, so once in a while give in.

Sometimes the best resolution to an argument is to let it go and let the other person have their way. Being magnanimous supports your loving relationship more than being right. It’s not the answer to all disagreements, but on occasion it’s the right move.

Think about this, if the person you love the most is hurting – who really wins from being right?

8. People forget, so keep love on the brain.

We need to hear the words “I love you” and see the loving actions that go along with it to be healthy and happy human beings. Many things happen throughout our day that can cause us to forget how lucky we are and so we need to be reminded that love is all around us. If we can show each other more love by saying it and doing it, then why would we ever leave each other?

One sure-fire way to avoid falling out of love is to keep love in the forefront. Let it be your mindset — filling your daily thoughts and actions. The more that love is on your mind, the more you will see it in your partner and coincidentally, in the world around you.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Hawk via flickr.com