As a coach, I’m constantly working on building my network while adding and exchanging value with other business professionals. On a recent week-long business trip to Chicago I was scheduled to meet Justin downtown at 4 PM Friday night but thought I would leave Chicago a day early, so at 6 PM on Thursday, I asked if we could meet that night instead. Although hesitant because he had to rearrange his schedule at the last minute, he agreed. Since we had never had a conversation before, I picked him up at his home in the suburbs at 9 PM and we headed to a bar to take the time to get to know one another professionally. Before leaving for Chicago I made a FB post that said “Hey I am traveling to Chi would love to meet up”, and proceeded to tag Justin along with dozens of other individuals I was connected with through social media. It was during this conversation that I learned 4 things I wanted to share with you today.
The most important decisions in our lives are made in a split second regardless of the risk.
Each moment we have the ability to transform our personal, professional and financial lives as we bring up and work through the pain of the past. As I’m sitting conversing with him over a taco salad and water, Justin is relentlessly nailing my pain points over, and over, and over. As he’s doing this I can feel my stomach turn and I start thinking about all kinds of things. While my physiology is changing, my body language also changes as I’m a very animated person and it’s so dramatic he actually notices. As an extremely confident person being put in a vulnerable position where questions need to be answered, decisions need to be made, and deeper relationships are formed, it can become incredibly uncomfortable. And honestly this was one of the most uncomfortable/comfortable moments of my life. While I was comfortable knowing a decision had to be made. I was uncomfortable being confronted in a way that demanded clarity. If I wanted the reward I had to be honest about what I wanted, be able to communicate that clearly and simultaneously make a decision that very moment. Personally I don’t think there’s anything more difficult, because as Tony Robbins says “It is in these moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.”
Being brutally honest is essential to your growth.
While I didn’t anticipate the conversation getting extremely personal, it did and I had no option but to A) stay engaged and build a deeper relationship or B) walk away knowing that if it didn’t progress it was my fault because I refused to answer the difficult questions that Justin wanted/ was demanding answers to. Being two incredibly strong-willed and opinionated individuals and playing in the big business arena on a daily basis refusing to answer the questions wasn’t an option, although don’t get me wrong it was a struggle. The old saying goes “You can’t make it to second base if you refuse to remove your feet from first.”
Short-term pain means long-term pleasure.
The headache you get from starting a new diet, the pain from just starting a new workout regimen, the anxiety from having to do something outside of your comfort zone, the fear of commitment, these short term bursts of negative emotions drive you to make the changes needed to create the results you desire. If you don’t have these moments of short term pain you will never really accomplish anything you ever want in life. In fact, you will never get what you desire out of life.
Taking a risk with the potential of reaping the reward makes the risk worth taking.
Somehow in between not knowing anything about one another and taco salad we were able to form a great connection and break down the barriers that existed which led to a much more personal connection than I had previously had all week. The risk of not knowing if it’s going to work, when it’s going to work, and how it’s going to work is the risk all successful people make, all happily married people make, all incredibly fulfilled people make. It isn’t a matter of wanting to or not wanting to but stepping up to the plate when the opportunity presents itself especially when you least expect it.
What I anticipated being a 2-hour exchange became a 5-hour conversation, and an incredible bond that words cannot describe was formed. My challenge to you is to go out of your comfort zone, meet people you’ve never met, have conversations you’ve never had, create experiences you’ve never experienced, and go do what you want to do to accomplish the things that you want to accomplish. Life is short, make it count!
