Have you ever been Emotionally Bullied? Or are you being emotionally bullied? Are you an emotional bully? If so where does this behavior stem from? Is it in your DNA?
Some people are bullied by family members, so-called friends, or coworkers. It is important to identify where such behavior comes from, it can be your surroundings, family, environment, or from life experiences. Emotional bullying does not only affect children as most people like to think, but adults too. In fact, most adults are either emotional bullies or have been subjected to being emotionally bullied at some point. Examples of being emotionally bullied includes talking viciously about people behind their backs, spreading rumors, and gossiping. An emotional bully will attempt to coerce someone else into doing what they want by emotionally distressing them.
The main message of this article will be to help you identify whether you are being emotionally bullied or if you are one. Being able to identify this will put you in tune with your authentic self. The real you. Not the you who others see on the outside but not your inner core. It is important to know the effects of being emotionally bullied and how to ignite the desire to make some changes to your life and relationships.
Here are four ways to identify if you are an emotional bully or a victim of emotional bullying:
1. Manipulation
Do you often find yourself in a situation where you feel as if you are being intimidated into doing something you don’t necessarily want to do? Yet you find it hard to say no.
Consider this scenario: Your partner throws a tantrum every time they do not get their way – there is drama drama drama, until you finally give in and do what they want. Sounds familiar?
What is the result: You slowly lose your self-respect and feel outnumbered, sad, and alone.
2. Unreasonable Expectations
You may have people in your life who have high expectations for you. This can be a good thing – even a motivator. However, when expectations become so unreasonable, that nothing you ever do is good enough, then you might be being emotionally bullied.
What is the result: You feel constantly criticized, helpless and powerless. At the end of the day, you feel awful and defeated because you are in a no-win situation.
3. The Blame Game
An emotional bully will often blame everyone but themselves for their problems. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.Emotional bullying of this nature involves the bully playing the victim and trying to deflect blame to you (the target) rather than taking personal responsibility for their actions.
What is the result: You start to question yourself and character as a person. You begin to find fault in your morals and values.
4. Silent Epidemic
When I say silent epidemic, I am referring to those being emotionally bullied in the workplace and not speaking out about it. We all have bad days and may show up at work grumpy or in a bad mood. A co-worker or your boss might even snap at you.
The easiest way to identify if you are dealing with being emotionally bullied is noticing if the behaviour is something that happens again and again. The style of workplace bullying is different for men and women. Women are generally more subtle than men are. Women are better at reading emotions, so they’re good at little digs that most men wouldn’t even register: the quick glare, or turning away and talking to someone else.
Now you know how to identify it. And how to deal with it? Self awareness, justification, acceptance is the key.
